


Death by Sexy Animal Noise

by ruff_ethereal



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Gen, Humor, Injury Recovery, Near Death Experiences, Non-Explicit Sex, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 16:44:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20624267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: “Watcher, I know I’ve only just finished treating you, and you’ve only regained consciousness ten minutes ago, but I feel compelled to ask: how did you end up in my clinic in such a sorry state?” Manuela said as she stood by Byleth’s bed.“Did Edelgard not explain?” Byleth asked as she laid flat on it.“I tried, but I couldn’t get a coherent or useful answer out of her!” Manuela peeked past the curtain, and saw a flash of red and white through window to the lounge area; Edelgard still seemed to be impatiently pacing its length. “Not that I don’t have mysuspicionsof why that was, mind you, but I like to be thorough,” she said as she turned back to Byleth.“So, Watcher: do I have your cooperation?”Byleth grunted. “You do, Mender.”“Oh, if only all my patients were as cooperative as you, Watcher Byleth,” Manuela said as she pulled out her tablet, summoned a magical pen with which to write on it. “Now, whenever you are ready,” she said, her mink ears perking up.“Edelgard and I were having sex.” Byleth started.





	Death by Sexy Animal Noise

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [troubles of the heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20085577) by [greenhousegatekeeper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenhousegatekeeper/pseuds/greenhousegatekeeper). 

> Dear Fire Emblem: Three Houses Community, behold, you are now also part of my Keeper/Avalon bullshit.
> 
> The crux of this particular AU is that it takes place in a world where modern humans, and a similarly advanced race of animalistic humanoids known as the Fae try to peacefully live on the same planet, the latter’s homeworld of Avalon. Magic and technology coexist in relative harmony, which makes things kind of complicated.
> 
> Byleth is human, Edelgard is a Sheep Fae, with horns as a result of her genetics. Manuela is also a Fae, I always pinned her as a Mink Fae. It is important to note that Fae are generally much physically stronger than humans, and have a number of symbiotic advantages with Avalon to boost their power further, though this is not entirely exclusive to them.
> 
> “Watcher” is a soldier, police officer, hunter, or anyone who fights for the sake of keeping the peace.
> 
> “Mender” is a healer of any variety, be it medical, psychological, and/or spiritual.
> 
> “Weavers” are magic experts, of combat or non-combat applications.

“Watcher, I know I’ve only _just _finished treating you, and you’ve only regained consciousness ten minutes ago, but I feel compelled to ask: _how _did you end up in my clinic in such a sorry state?” Manuela said as she stood by Byleth’s bed.

“Did Edelgard not explain?” Byleth asked as she laid flat on it.

“I tried, but I couldn’t get a coherent or useful answer out of her!” Manuela peeked past the curtain, and saw a flash of red and white through window to the lounge area; Edelgard still seemed to be impatiently pacing its length. “Not that I don’t have my _suspicions _of why that was, mind you, but I like to be thorough,” she said as she turned back to Byleth.

“So, Watcher: do I have your cooperation?”

Byleth grunted. “You do, Mender.”

“Oh, if only all my patients were as cooperative as you, Watcher Byleth,” Manuela said as she pulled out her tablet, summoned a magical pen with which to write on it. “Now, whenever you are ready,” she said, her mink ears perking up.

“Edelgard and I were having sex.” Byleth started.

Manuela fought back the urge to grin and go “I knew it.” Instead, she continued to write, wordlessly urging Byleth to continue with a professional expression.

“We performed all the necessary precautions: a more-than-adequate supply of Fae-made lube, a first aid kit, and a lengthy discussion of exactly what we were planning to do, would want to have done, and might do once we were actually going at it.”

Manuela nodded. “Good, good, I’m happy to hear that. With that ruled out: _how _exactly did you end up unconscious, and with a fractured skull _and _pelvis, to boot?”

“Edelgard got _too _enthusiastic near the end.” Byleth replied.

“Please describe what happened in as much detail as you possibly can, Watcher.” Manuela said, marking a space for potential diagrams. “In particular, your positions, what you were both doing, and whatever you may or may not have used.”

Byleth nodded. “We decided to use sex toys tonight, specifically a strap-on. I’m unaware of the manufacturer, but it was approximately seven inches in length, of average girth, and made of bright pink silicone. The harness was all leather with metal buckles.”

“And who was wearing it?”

“I was.” Byleth replied. “I was sitting down with my legs spread, back propped up against the headboard with pillows. Edelgard straddled my waist, and intended to ride the strap-on while facing me and holding onto my shoulders for additional leverage.

“Initially, it went exactly as intended, save for breaks to relubricate the toy, or Edelgard needing them. She orgasmed several times, and I enjoyed watching her do it, whilst also giving verbal encouragement. After a few hours, Edelgard was nearing exhaustion, but wanted one last orgasm before we ended.

“She wanted it to be an especially powerful one that would completely wipe her out, and one of the ways we usually achieve that is for me to give her a challenge—test her endurance, total number of orgasms, times she’d have to edge herself, and so on and so forth.”

“And this night’s particular challenge was…?” Manuela asked.

“Speed and self-control.” Byleth replied. “I ordered her to repeatedly edge herself, as quickly as possible, and that when she finally got release she should fall limp against me.”

Manuela nodded. “I’m starting to get the sense of what happened next, but please, do continue, Watcher.”

“For her last edge, Edelgard decided to slam her hips down as powerfully as she could, for show and for pleasure. I’m quite certain the impact was what shattered my pelvis.”

“And your defensive arts didn’t kick in _at all__?” _Manuela said.

“No, definitely not.” Byleth replied.

“Hmm, I’m surprised,” Manuela said, making special note of that. “I’ve seen you harden your body faster than even experienced earth weavers can.”

“It was the situation.” Byleth said. “To even want to _try _to have sex, both Edelgard and myself need to feel completely safe and free to drop all our guards, even our most deeply ingrained and almost instinctive defensive arts.”

Manuela swooned. “How romantic! If not without its unfortunate downsides. And as for your skull?”

“I did not get a very good look at what was happening, as my vision was blurred from the pain of my pelvis being shattered, but I assume she was trying to kiss me as she orgasmed, and accidentally headbutted me with her horns instead. I suppose that’s why I don’t really remember much after that.”

“Severe blunt force trauma has been indeed known to cause memory loss, Watcher.” Manuela said, finishing up her notes. “Well, that about fills in all the gaps left in this medical mystery! Thank you for your cooperation, Watcher.”

“It’s no trouble.” Byleth replied. “Oh, and Weaver Manuela? May I ask one more question?”

“Go right on ahead, Watcher.” Manuela replied.

“Was Edelgard particularly _distressed_, which is why she couldn’t answer you properly…?” Byleth asked, her asked, her deadpan voice and expression softening ever so slightly.

“Oh, yes, she was quite the sight when she hauled you in here, but don’t worry: the other staff comforted and helped her compose herself in no time.” Manuela said.

“I see. Thank you.” Byleth said, before she was back to her usual unreadable look and tone.

“Please get some rest, Watcher,” Manuela said. “Your body may be physically whole and uninjured once more, but it will take a while for you to be back to full-fighting form.”

“I know and I will, Mender.” Byleth replied.

“And one last thing, Watcher,” Manuela said, tapping her tablet and sending a business card to Byleth’s comm-crystal. “Perhaps you and Edelgard should consider hiring a spotter for the next time the two of you”--she made a sexy animal noise--”for safety reasons? I can assure you discretion and client-confidentiality is _sacrosanct _to them.”

“I’ll try to bring it up, but Edelgard is very… _particular _about who knows the details of our sex life.” Byleth said.

Manuela smiled. “Sincerely, Watcher? Good luck with that.”


End file.
